Me, interrupted

So, there's been a lot of chaos in my life in the last year and half or so, and it's finally coming to a head. On Saturday, when I got back from 6 weeks working in Los Angeles (with that small break for The Cruise), Scott and I decided to finally move ahead with our divorce. I know that he's come to terms with the decision because he's showing signs that he's moving on in his life. That makes me glad for him and also sad.

We agreed that our marriage wasn't a bad thing. It was a good part of our lives and we don't wish that it never happened. There were a lot of things we'd have done differently along the way and we'll take those lessons to our future relationships.

We each told our families yesterday. We also had a discussion about practical issues. We want this to be amicable. I had made tentative plans to move out next month, but I think we're gonna see how things are right now. We're making our living spaces much more separate than they had been (we'd been sleeping apart, but still sharing the master bathroom and closet/dresser, etc). He's got an apartment he can borrow for the semester if things get too tense. We've talked some about division of assets and I'm going to get a storage space nearby and start separating my stuff out and decluttering in preparation for putting the house on the market. We'll be filing the divorce papers soon.

I have a lot of other larger question issues to resolve about what's next for me in my life, but the one that has been plaguing me for a while is one of identity. My relationship with him has been constant throughout most of my adult life. It's woven through things like my name and my online identity, like this username. I still haven't decided what to do about my surname yet, do I want to keep my ex-husband's name or go back to my ex-father's name? Scott suggested I come up with a new name entirely, but it took me long enough to find a replacement for "luvmoose".

But I have. I hearby introduce amybang. That's the new me. Friend me. Say hello.

Stop the world?

So, the cruise happened. It was fun, but I was also depressed and lonely the whole time. The rest of my life needs to even out, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

I'm back at work, back to the grind.

Everyone is saying how the world is still swaying for them, but I haven't been affected by it at all. I didn't have any motion sickness on the boat. For most of it, it was like floating on an air mattress in a pool with your eyes closed. And when I got off I was fine. Not having any residual world-moving effects. I'm wondering if we always detect a certain amount of motion in the world, but our bodies tune it out normally. But we were so focused on it while we were on the boat that now people are having a hard time ignoring it.
Dax geeky

What I'm doing

Playing waaaayyy too much FizzBall. It's an updated version of Pong/Breakout crossed with Katamari and a side dish of cute fuzzy animals. Download the demo (Mac or PC), get addicted, and then support the developers by buying it.

I should totally be scamming...

Tonight is the 3rd night of not-even-lukewarm tub. And as I went out to check it, it suddenly dawned on me that this hotel rents out their function rooms for fancy parties and that I should go buy a cheap cocktail dress and crash the parties. I look like someone associated with the Arthritis Institute, right?

Perils of the Business Traveler

Today was a very long day on site. Followed by a long and somewhat frustrating evening meeting. Things got better when I took my Boston co-workers to Souplantation and amazed them. I stopped at Target to buy new undies (I packed a bunch this time, but knew I wouldn't have enough for the whole trip, so the deal was laundromat if I ran out on a weekend, or new ones if I ran out on a weekday). I got the undies, had a fascinating discussion about the different cuts with a woman shopping there (bikini vs. low-rise brief vs. boy short vs. thong, etc.). Couldn't find new socks, so I'm definitely in for the laundromat this weekend. Was stymied by a cool looking purple bra I would have taken a risk on if they'd had my size (it was purple and $15, how could it be wrong?). Found some really neat $2 pedicure spa slides.

Got back to the hotel and decided that the best way to wind down would be a dip in the hot tub. Changed into my swimsuit, put my hair in a clip, grabbed my trashy novel, and put on my spa slides. Padded around to the hot tub, set up towels and my book at the edge. Turned on the bubbles. And put my foot in. COLD!!!! Grr.

At least I have cool pedicure spa slides:

How do I fashion jewelry out of this?

Forget picks and sticks, you want one of these:

The short story is that we noticed them in Portland. letters_to_ed brought a spare and traded Ed for his in Phoenix. I bought a package of new ones yesterday on the way to San Diego and, after ascertaining that he no longer had hers, I traded with Ed for this one last night. i_iambe had to work a little harder for hers, even though her trader Sharpie had a sexy boobie drawing on it. The Reverb guy said no, Tiny said no, Fin said no, Kevin didn't have one, but finally, she got Steve's.

And for those who keep track, there are now BLAM tour picks. They're very dark grey. I first noticed that there might be new picks in Seattle. I finally got my eyes on one last night.

More later, but quote of the night: "Are you guys having a boob fight?" Why yes, Ed, we were. *shifty eyes*
Steve ipod crooning

I wish I could cry, I'm stuck in a permanent smile

Tonight I started carving up some of the shows I got on Stick recently. And then I got to what was probably my favorite performance of this tour, and I just had to share it. Right in front of me and owlmoose, Steve belted it out, emotion all over his face. Rage. Jealousy. Impotence. Pain. Futility.

I know you must have loved me sometime, but now I'm just a toy.

Steve ipod crooning

"4 shows in a row" or "I'm getting too old for this"

Yesterday was a rush day. Up at 4:45 to get to the airport. Walked in the dark from owlmoose's to Market Street to catch BART to SFO. Napped on the plane. Got a decent rental car but sadly, no convertible. Popped in at my hotel but they wouldn't let me check in yet. Went to work. Worked. At lunch, checked into my hotel. Worked more. Played phone tag with my hairdresser all day (even called her from BNL, which I know she was at), but I think I have an appointment to see her. Had my evening meeting. Then I stopped at the new Manhattan Beach Borders to pick up something that the Seattle Borders lied to me about being in print, stopped for some hotel groceries, and then drove up to Universal Citywalk for BNL. Saw the show, waited for my Stick, chatted with the locals, and then drove back south. Got waylaid on the 101 due to some midnight construction. Was in bed by 1am.

About the showCollapse )

So tonight is going to be devoted to nothing but sloth. I'm going to have a healthy yummy dinner at Souplantation. I'm in my favorite hotel. My room is stocked with snacks and yummy dark chocolate caramels. I'll probably go lounge in the hot tub for a bit. Then I'll curl up in the snuggly king-sized bed and sleep. Maybe this weekend I'll get a pedicure just for fun.